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Attachment Parenting

Importance of Bonding and Touch

First time parents are in for the experience of a lifetime! After surviving 9 months of pregnancy, a wardrobe of maternity clothes, baby showers, and decorating the nursery with care, you have gone through the exciting, heroic experiences of labor and delivery. Now you are ready to begin your new life as first-time parents!

First-Time Parent Jitters
For many first-time parents, having a new baby in the home is an exciting experience mixed with apprehension. Silent questions such as “How will I know…” “How will I cope…” and “But, what if…” mingle with exuberant joy as you look down at the precious bundle sleeping in your arms. You’ve got the first-time parent jitters!

Not to worry! Siblings and friends with children, parents, and in-laws have been waiting for this moment, too. They will offer expert advice on feeding, diapering, and proper baby care. Books galore are also available, written by baby doctors and psychologists offering guidance on parenting, and the latest in child development research.

When it comes to reading material, be prudent about book selection. And, don’t be afraid to set down boundaries on visiting times for over-eager friends and relatives. While you can learn proper baby care from the expertise of others, you and your spouse also need time alone with your baby, to bond.

Bonding with Baby
Bonding with you baby will include kisses, touch, talking to and eye contact. Touch is crucial both for the babies proper development and because it is through touch your baby will come to know you.

Breastfeeding is the most basic form of bonding between baby and parent. For fathers, adoptive parents and those who are physically unable to breastfeed, there are plenty of opportunities to use touch to bond with your newborn. Cosleeping and babywearing allow both parents to bond with baby. You can find other opportunities to bond with you baby as well. Cradle your baby in your lap and gently stroke him or her. Nestling the newborn at your neck is another bonding-touch that provides baby with a sense of security. Support the baby’s head and neck with one hand, and his or her bottom with the other.

Forget the old wives’ tale that holding a baby too much will spoil the child. Some believe that a baby should not be picked up each and every time they cry as long as they have been adequately fed, are clean and dry, warm and comfortable, a baby does need to learn there are times when they should rest, or entertain themselves. Attachment parenting purists believe that it is not only OK to respond to all babies cries, but it actually gives your child a greater sense of security allowing them to become independent faster.

Quiet moments alone with baby without distractions are necessary to form the emotional connection between parent and child, essential to a healthy attachment. An important bonding process noted by pediatricians in the late 1970s. This process has been proved vital for both parent and child. Parents who form this type attachment with their newborn make better parents. They are better equipped and more willing to make the necessary sacrifices to care for their child; during infancy as well as through childhood.

Newborns provided the benefit of gentle contact and tender touch by parents feel loved and secure. This sense of well-being impacts both their emotional growth and physical development.

How to handle a newborn
The importance of touch – gentle, loving contact when holding your baby, cannot be emphasized enough. Rough handing and harsh jostling, especially with a newborn, can not only frighten your baby, but be life-threatening, as well.

Always be careful to support your newborn’s head and neck when you pick them up, or lay them down. If you need to wake up your newborn, don’t startle them by jostling or shaking them. Instead, gently tickle their feet, softly blow on their cheek, or tenderly rub the side of their head while speaking softly and saying their name.

Relish time with your baby. Gently cradle him or her in your arms, and tenderly rub his or her back using slow, wide circles. Caress your baby soothingly as you rock them.

Talk in a low, comforting tone, or quietly sing to them. Make sure to smile when you make eye contact with your baby, even if you aren’t sure whether or not their eyesight has developed enough yet to see clearly.

While it is true the importance of proper baby care (bathing, adequate nutrition, a safe, clean environment, play and nap time, and comfortable, warm clothing) cannot be over emphasized, neither can the healthy-bonding process between parent and child and the importance of touch. Both vital ingredients that say, “You are loved!”

Author: Lori S. Anton; Savvy Baby Gear editor
About the author: Lori Anton has been a published writer for 30 years. She is an editor for Savvy Baby Gear at Savvy Baby, your one-stop shop for everything today’s parents of infants need: clothes, educational and fun toys and activities, care and safety products, clothing, nursery supplies, and educational aids for mom and dad…essentials for happy babies and parents.

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About the author

Natural Parenting – who has written posts on A Much Better Way.


14 Responses to “Importance of Bonding and Touch”

  1. i really feel that raising your child is more than just taking care of them. i think that you have to take into the environment and examples that you teach them from the earliest age. soothing songs, reading them a story, giving them a nice place to rest there head. all factors which cant be overlooked

    Posted by grey | December 16, 2009, 1:03 am
  2. I recently posted something similar about bonding with your baby. Like you mentioned, touch is very important for newborns and is more powerful than one may think.

    Posted by Chris | January 27, 2010, 10:13 pm
  3. Hi! Yes, I completely agree with you. Touching and bonding is so crucial. I think that touching the baby in a warm and comforting way is going to lead to a deeper sense of calm and safety as an adult. Touch, a very overlooked skill in parenting I think! Thanks for posting about it. :)

    Posted by Kim | February 2, 2010, 6:29 pm
  4. This article certainly brings back memories. I still remember that when I look at my son then, the love and tenderness just instinctively compels me to hold and touch him. I don’t think it’s wise to let a baby cry endlessly. Maybe different people have different parenting methods, but for me, it’s hard letting a baby cry and not picking him up.

    Posted by Audrey | February 4, 2010, 1:00 am
  5. Sound can also be a source of soothing and bonding. Playing certain music or saying certain words while the baby is in the womb can be helpful after the baby is born. They tend to find womb sounds, and your song, story or a few special words can become a part of that.

    Posted by LS | February 6, 2010, 4:55 pm
  6. such anice article

    Posted by Kathleen Seitensprung | March 18, 2010, 7:44 am
  7. There’s nothing like being close to your baby- it’s what makes motherhood so amazing. :)

    Natural Parenting

    Posted by Sarah | March 18, 2010, 1:25 pm
  8. I know a lot of fathers won’t admit it, but for me, the whole world stops when I’m holding my baby girl.

    Posted by Lucas | April 14, 2010, 10:24 am
  9. There is nothing I love more than snuggling my baby! I have some of the most precious memories of my son as a newborn, just holding him.

    Posted by Beth Eckert | May 24, 2010, 9:27 am
  10. I am 26 weeks along and can not wait to hold my little one!!

    Posted by Jaie White | June 4, 2010, 10:56 am
  11. Hi great article thanks for sharing. Do you think PAP's have a responsibility to better prepare themselves for parenting than a natural parent?

    Posted by Barry | July 22, 2010, 1:12 pm
  12. A parent who is adopting can be everything a natural parent can be. Love is the invisible power cord that connects parent to child, not the birth certificate with the same last name! Be honest and be there and he/she will blossom like you won’t believe.

    Posted by Natural Baby | September 29, 2010, 10:18 pm
  13. I’ve connected this wonderful post to my blog. Its perfectly written!
    I’m a special education therapist and stress the importance of bonding and relaxation….

    Posted by Shane B. Kulman | February 19, 2011, 11:44 am


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